It came as a great surprise to me that an all-too-common roadblock in my reader's and client’s pursuit of health is the overall “permission” to care for them-selves. Deep down inside they just don't feel worthy. Balance is a perpetual pursuit and requires putting our body’s needs ABOVE all the other productive things we do—but, not INSTEAD of those other things. Freedom from weight battles requires innate clarity about who they are and who they can become. The question is: are you worthy?
To achieve balance our physical body requires a yin yang of various foods and activities through the day, week, and year. These needs are unique to today, and unique to us, which is why we must be crystal clear on the pecking order of life. Can we do it all: have successful full lives and at the same time answer the cry from our bodies to have an orange when we need one? Yes, effortlessly. People all over the globe do it every day. But, without a foundational premise of: My Body is Paramount, we repeatedly sacrifice essential fuel and activity to the myriad of other tasks in our day. There comes a point in the coaching process when most of my dear clients say they are mystified as to why they did not get the salad they needed (instead of the meatloaf), or eat breakfast before 2 p.m., or carve out a window of time for activity, or stop eating when they really did not want more food. They have legitimate reasons for these choices. But when reminded they want to be FREE of weight issues the realization always flows out: “I don’t feel like I can put myself first. I don’t feel worthy. I am scared to take care of my body. I don’t believe I can be free.”
Ever felt this way? I did.
The root of these paradigms is unique to each person. Some heard childhood messages that they weren’t “enough.” To be inadequate and unacceptable as a youth makes a powerful imprint on identity. Some experienced traumatizing betrayals in adulthood and defined themselves by it. Some have sacrificed for others to the extent that they become habituated to being on the 3rd or 4th tier of priority—if they show up on any tier at all. Regardless, it is a true revelation when a client embraces their opportunity to make a “blueprint” for their body in their head. Deciding to design their lives for health and an ideal weight is a turning point in their journey. We know our beliefs precede our actions. What we believe is what we become. There is a moment when we decide to believe we are worthy of self-care. But we simply cannot take that leap of belief until we decide to trust our bodies (their design, messages, and prompts) and justify ownership of our health, minute-to-minute. The “justify” part is the leap. With all the love in my heart I encourage, prod, remind, nag, and mirror their perfection back to them until they re-define themselves as worthy to take care of their bodies.
What makes us valuable enough to claim? The answer is beautifully stated in Marianne Williamson’s profound quote from her book: A Return to Love:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
While snuggling today on my chaise with my 5-year old, we read I Am Special, by Max Lucado. As we came to the part when the wooden puppet, Punchinello, visits his maker, Eli the Woodcarver, I got all choked up. My son looked up and asked me why the gray dots given the sad, lonely puppet by the other puppets didn’t stick after talking with his Maker. I told him the love of the Maker was what mattered—not the stars or dots stuck to him by those around him. And the Maker loved this wooden puppet with infinite care. Because he was The Maker's, he was special. I explained how Punchinello learned to care more about what his Maker thinks than about what others think--which rendered the dots un-stickable. I don’t know if he got it. My boy is only five. But, this allegory reminded me that our worthiness is inherent. We were made to be in balance. Any mindset, belief, or premise that separates us from living in balance with our bodies also separates us from the One who made our bodies. We are worthy of care because we are divine. Talk about a great justification for making a leap of faith!
Tres Hatch is the author of: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy.