Have you ever assigned more value to inanimate food than you do your own preferences? For example, have you ever decided to have a hamburger at the 4th of July barbecue because hamburgers are a part of your family tradition on Independence Day? But, what if you didn't really feel like a hamburger? What if, in fact, it is hot outside and your true preference is for a tall drink of water and a bit of salad (and perhaps a taste of Jello because...there's always room for Jello)? What conversation must take place in order to rationalize having something you don't really want or need? In this instance, you perhaps convinced yourself if you don't have a hamburger it just won't FEEL like a celebration. Or, perhaps you tell yourself it is special food, or you paid a lot for that, or it took a lot of work to prepare it and you don’t want to waste it. There are lots of conversations that assign value to food. They are all true. But the moment we place greater value on the food than we do on ourselves, we end up eating the wrong food at the wrong time in the wrong amounts. Multiplied by many years these incorrect values can result in a body out of balance and thoroughly ingrained habits based on lies.
Any time we override our true preference for what we want or how much we want, we rationalize with a conversation with ourselves. Many times that conversation is based on false logic. In this instance would the 4th of July become meaningless without a hamburger? Probably not. It might even be a better event if we end it feeling balanced and perfectly fueled. Yet, without examining our rationalizations (conversations) we often assign greater value to a food than it really has.
A coaching client recently shared with me an incident involving lemon pie. Her daughter-in-law knew the mother-in-law adored a turbo-tart lemon pie and so she brought it to my client on Sunday as a gift. This was a food offering representing the daughter-in-law's time, effort, and love. After the big family dinner she handed my client a big piece of the lovely pie. My client felt obligated to eat some even though she was full and did not actually want it at that time. She handled it beautifully by having a tiny bit--making the appropriate "oohs and ahhs"--and then saving the rest for later. She later reflected on how different this episode was from past incidences which would have surely ended in her having a big piece, followed by polishing off the whole pie in the car on the ride home. When I asked her what had changed she shared it was because she now has true conversations, such as: My daughter-in-law wants to feel her pie is appreciated, but she loves me and does not want me to stuff myself full of pie and be unwell and out of balance. Out of compassion I will taste one bite and then have the pie when I am ready for it (not the other way around...because pie doesn't have feelings). Food obligations rarely require us to actually become stuffed and out of balance. We just need to have truthful conversations with ourselves.
Another client once told me she needed to have some of every dessert at the Sunday Church pot luck supper or she would offend the other church members. She was adamant there would be injury and hurt feelings if she didn't gorge herself on their homemade desserts every Sunday. I challenged her to call every one of those women that brought dessert to the previous supper and ask them to describe what my client had been wearing. The result: of course not one of the women remembered what she had been wearing, nor had they paid any attention to what she had been eating. Nobody cared whether or not she ate their bundt cake. Once my client realized that she believed an untruth she no longer felt compulsive energy to binge. The trigger was removed and she started to enjoy the Sunday Supper and eat what she needed--not what she imagined her Christian obligation to be.
As we roll into the middle of summer would you like to discover any instances where you misapply value to food? Try it and please share your moments of truth. I would love to hear them.
Get more out of your pot luck salads with this crazy-good recipe that incorporates kale with currants, walnuts, apple, and blue cheese. For you kale haters this salad may convert you because the salt massage actually breaks down the kale, removing the sulfurous flavor common in cruciferous vegetables. After a short massage the kale is left tasting crunchy, mild, and in perfect balance with the other contrasting flavors. Enjoy.
Tres Hatch is the author of Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, &Sexy. She is also a widely acclaimed speaker and cooking instructor. For more information visit: www.miraclepilltruths.com.
Massaged Kale and Currant Salad
Makes 6 servings
Before my beautiful
friend Tamara Roberts emailed me this recipe I felt much the same way most
people feel about kale: yuk! Apart from kale chips, I had not experienced raw
kale in a recipe that I truly enjoyed (despite its trending health properties
and popularity in smoothies). However,
this recipe changed my mind.
“Massaging” salted kale ribbons actually breaks down the sulfurous
cruciferous flavor and gentles the texture to a cross between romaine and Napa
cabbage. If you are not a fan of blue cheese feel free to substitute Parmesan cheese for the Gorgonzola, or eliminate it altogether. However, you won’t believe the perfect
balance of salty, sweet, pungent, crunchy veggie, and rich cheese melding together in
perhaps the world’s most perfect salad.
Feel free to make it a day ahead and keep it stored in the refrigerator
in a sealed container.
1 bunch kale (about 4 cups chopped)
½ tsp sea salt
¼ cup diced red onion
1/3 cup currants
1 cup diced apple, skin on (about ½ apple)
1/3 cup chopped
walnuts, toasted
2 tablespoons unfiltered apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup Gorgonzola
cheese, crumbled
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
De-stem kale by pulling leaves away from the stems. Wash
leaves. Spin or pat day.
Stack leaves, roll up, and cut into thin ribbons. Put kale
in a large mixing bowl. Add salt, and massage it into the kale with your hands
for 2 minutes.
Stir onions, currants, apple, and walnuts into kale. Dress
with oil and vinegar. Taste for salt and vinegar, adding more if necessary.
When at desired flavor, toss in cheese. The flavors in this salad will deepen
for several days and still be great.
