Get Real

With the Academy Awards looming in less than a week I can’t help but focus on unrealistic expectations. The “red carpet” has eclipsed the actual awards ceremony for both lasciviousness and sycophancy, with celebrities parading through throngs of fans and media (is there a difference?) proclaiming which designer they are wearing. Please understand, I’m not a judgmental snob. I like to stare at pretty people just as much as the next woman. But, is it any surprise that we obsess about our body flaws and subject ourselves to a sick beauty standard when this broadcast draws millions of viewers, compared with the Special Olympics which languishes in obscure cable-land?

My own experience with the “theater” of visual images came seven years ago when I was asked to grace the cover of the University of Utah’s class catalog for their Lifelong Learning Program. I posed like Madonna in front of a huge canvas background, holding a platter of food and a big grin. The professional photographer was expert at capturing just the right amount of sweet-sexy-smart to help their client sell enrollment. It was in the edit bay of the studio that I first saw the wonders of Photoshop. The close up image of my hand holding a cookie revealed natural wrinkles of skin. Within seconds I watched those wrinkles erased and my hand looked thinner and younger. Then on to my face we went, with dark patches lightened and cheekbones sharpened until I looked like a well-rested version of myself. At this point I was starting to understand addiction to plastic surgery because I suggested we trim an inch or two off my waist. Bada-bing, it was done and my profile looked downright svelte. More light here, more shade here, and soon I wanted to gaze at the pretty chic on the cover as if I was standing in line at the grocery store with nothing better to do.

I make no moral judgment on advertisers tweaking images to entice us to look. I just realize that if a catalog selling non-credit University classes benefits from “freshening up” its cover girl, how much more do fashion magazines succumb to that practice? In turn, as we stare at these pictures how much pressure do we feel to match a beauty standard—that clearly isn’t even real?!!!

When we see beautiful people on TV, let’s remember within those perfectly symmetrical faces and toothy smiles, there are people with battles. They get pimples. They have gas. They love their families and have felt the sting of rejection. Now, let’s extend that same compassion to ourselves. When my backside is dimpled and my boobs droop, it is not a definition of me, but rather a result of my experience in life. Age brings deterioration. Mortality brings the challenge of managing a body in less than ideal circumstances. Few people I know have a trainer, nutritionist, stylist, personal chef, massage therapist, and the time to dote on the exterior. And not one of them is getting any younger. Upon examination, this progressively dying mortal body sounds like a terrible plan, and I wish I could sign up for an alternative, but there you are. So, I must remind myself: without those flaws I face only one alternative. Death. And like Sid the Sloth, “I choose life.”

Kindness matters. If I am to remain kind to those that whirl through life in a gorgeous body I must keep a heart free from covetousness. Kindness to myself lies anchored in the knowledge that I am so much more than my picture. Comparing myself to others is like comparing apples to elephants. Beauty is not inherently elevated and plainness is not diminished...unless I forget who I am.

Will I watch the Academy Awards next week? Maybe, but they won’t have a lick of effect on my self-esteem.

Tres Hatch is the author of: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy. She can be heard every Thursday at 10:35 MST, on her new radio segment: Ten Minute Miracle: Eat and Be Thin. Tune in to AM1400 or watch the live video simulcast on www.planetarystreams.com.