Fear

Fear of: spiders, supernatural specters, illness, snakes, hair sprouting out of a witches’ wart, public speaking, race riots, bad cheese… There are certainly plenty of things to be scared of. But, this week I realized I am most terrified of the thing least likely to hurt me. I am referring to success. How could success make my neck slick with sweat and my stomach churn? Before I answer, I want to share this profound experience:

At a book signing yesterday I spoke at length with (Elza). She shared many truths she had learned from reading my book. She showed me her copy with highlighted passages, dog-eared pages, and completed workbook exercises. With great purpose she described her strategy to permanently lose her remaining weight. But, at the very end, she asked me how she could get over her fear of food. She described it thus: “I’m scared that what I am eating will actually make me fat. Tres, you tell me to eat what my body wants, but what if it makes me gain weight?” I realized she was attributing fear of failure to fear of food. I gently asked if she was, in fact, not so much afraid of food, but afraid of success. Tears streamed down her cheeks as tender feelings were laid bare. She admitted to being scared of changing herself—even if that change is something she desperately wants. Elza was scared of going down an unknown road.

I can relate. In book promotion when I make a cold call, or rather, procrastinate making that cold call I am letting fear decide my fate. But to “man up” and make the call—with absolute belief that my work has value, I experience sweet success and find opportunities otherwise hidden. So, why do we grapple with fear? The answer is best phrased in my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
— Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles)

This year, in 2011, I choose to liberate myself and those around me by remembering: I am meant to shine. And I will save my fear for hairy witch warts.

Tres Hatch is the author of: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy.