Fear

Fear of: spiders, supernatural specters, illness, snakes, hair sprouting out of a witches’ wart, public speaking, race riots, bad cheese… There are certainly plenty of things to be scared of. But, this week I realized I am most terrified of the thing least likely to hurt me. I am referring to success. How could success make my neck slick with sweat and my stomach churn? Before I answer, I want to share this profound experience:

At a book signing yesterday I spoke at length with (Elza). She shared many truths she had learned from reading my book. She showed me her copy with highlighted passages, dog-eared pages, and completed workbook exercises. With great purpose she described her strategy to permanently lose her remaining weight. But, at the very end, she asked me how she could get over her fear of food. She described it thus: “I’m scared that what I am eating will actually make me fat. Tres, you tell me to eat what my body wants, but what if it makes me gain weight?” I realized she was attributing fear of failure to fear of food. I gently asked if she was, in fact, not so much afraid of food, but afraid of success. Tears streamed down her cheeks as tender feelings were laid bare. She admitted to being scared of changing herself—even if that change is something she desperately wants. Elza was scared of going down an unknown road.

I can relate. In book promotion when I make a cold call, or rather, procrastinate making that cold call I am letting fear decide my fate. But to “man up” and make the call—with absolute belief that my work has value, I experience sweet success and find opportunities otherwise hidden. So, why do we grapple with fear? The answer is best phrased in my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
— Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles)

This year, in 2011, I choose to liberate myself and those around me by remembering: I am meant to shine. And I will save my fear for hairy witch warts.

Tres Hatch is the author of: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy.

Bacon Jam

We opened the brown-paper wrapped parcel and felt a bit mystified at the contents: a small gray pot of "Skillet Bacon Spread," better known as "bacon jam." With its black plastic lid and mottled contents it looks a bit more like high-end French face mask than a condiment. Operating solely on faith that this birthday present from dear friends would neither explode nor poison us, we opened it up and spread a bit on toast. What a symphony of comfort flavors exploded in our mouths. This heady concoction of shredded non-cured belly pork, a hint of balsamic, and rich caramelized onions combines together for a perfect burger topping, scrambled egg enhancer, mashed potato addition, and of course, on toast. In fact, we found it excellent spooned straight out of the pot. On grilled cheese sandwiches, as a base for a vinaigrette, drizzled with butter over asparagus...the possibilities are dizzying. Tissues please--I'm getting verclempt. Sure it boasts a swirl of congealed pork fat that Americans are hesitant to fully appreciate, and the color would never make for sexy food shots in a culinary magazine, but the smell hits you like you just stepped into a farmhouse kitchen. It's like: slow-cooked meats, biscuits, and savory-sweet things bubbling in a pot.

What is more, this stuff has a fantastic story behind it. A businessman in Seattle played with the formula for bacon jam out of his Airstream trailer gourmet mobile restaurant, called Skillet (I'm not kidding). Shortly after contracting to supply Williams-Sonoma the product got a mention on the Today Show as one of the Top 10 Gourmet items of the year. Sales have skyrocketed, Seattle residents are queuing up for hours to eat Skillet's gourmet burgers smeared with bacon jam, and my life is changed forever. Only 8 more hours to go before breakfast and I can once again whisk a dollop into my scrambled eggs and spread a bit on my cream-cheese bagel. Oh, if morning could only come a bit sooner.

Find Skillet Mobile Restaurant and Skillet Bacon Spread at: skilletbaconjam.com

Tres Hatch is the author of : Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy.

The Backside

Strategies

1) Compensation

As we slide down the backside of the holidays and into a new year, let’s examine the impact of too much holiday food on our backsides. I know mine has felt threatened for weeks by extra cookies, ham, and a proliferation of salted nuts. If I don't have a strategy for partaking without unwanted consequences my thighs will swell up like Elvis in a jumpsuit. At a time like this there is only one thing to do: compensate.

Compensation sounds totalitarian, but it is really less punishment and more balancing the scales between the excess of food I did not need with an increase of the food I do. For instance, at yesterday’s family New Year’s Day Chinese dinner, I left the fried dishes alone and went for a Vietnamese brothy soup known as Pho (pronounced fuh). It features rice vermicelli noodles in a flavorful stock of beef, onion, and star anise. Then it is garnished with a handful of super-fresh bean sprouts, herbs, and wedges of fresh lime. It was a cold night and a hot bowl of soup containing mostly vegetables and noodles not only filled my belly with warmth, but it didn’t weigh me down. This choice was compensation for the many big meals I had been blessed with for the previous two weeks.

The trick to compensation is to allow enough light meals in between heavy meals to negate any weight gain from the latter. Compounding extraordinarily heavy meals day after day makes me fat. In my case, since Christmas I have enjoyed tiny bowls of granola in the morning, a piece of fruit with my small sandwich at lunch, and key choices for dinner. This kind of compensation provides forgiveness for the Haagen Dasz Bananas Foster ice cream I refused to pass up at a party yesterday. I know this is breathtakingly simple, yet many of us get on a roll and end up with…an extra roll. Beware the twelve days of Christmas with each day more rich than the last. If last night was meatballs, this morning avoid the French toast and bacon. Say yes to truffles, cinnamon pastry, and egg nog, but go back to the foundation of the food pyramid (vegetables and whole grain), immediately after the splurge—and your backside won’t suffer.

Gingerbread Binge

Ancient civilizations believed they became stronger by eating the organs of their enemies. Considering all the gingerbread men I ate this week, I should be able to pull a freight train with my eyelashes. Why do we binge eat, and why does a “reformed” binger occasionally find herself on the wrong side of the empty M&M dish? This question spends a lot of time being batted around my book discussions because it seems to define the considerable differences between those who battle weight and those that do not. The call of food is loudest to those that don’t want it, while the bowl of Doritos is maddeningly mute to those that seemingly, cannot be bothered to have more than a handful. What is going on here that I bit the heads off three gingerbread men in a row, (cue shocked exclamation), only to polish off the rest of their white frosting, ric rac-enhanced bodies?

My recent holiday overload forced me to re-examine my own compulsive eating; I discovered nothing new. I continue to preach the same gospel of overcoming overeating by giving myself permission to taste that triple-layer chocolate mousse torte with the little chocolate shavings on top. Yes, permission! The phenomenon of compulsive eating is driven by the need to escape—meaning we mentally check out while putting stuff in our mouths. The antidote seems suspiciously simple: taste. Actively allow ourselves to eat. We either tune in and taste the food, or use the action of eating to provide an escape from conscious focus. We simply are not present when we tune out and mentally go to another place. It’s kind of like driving from point A to point B and having little memory of the journey, except it can happen within seconds while we pound the onion dip. The devastating effect of this emotional departure is: we prevent our brains from taking in taste and texture. Without fully involving our minds and souls our brains cannot return the favor by telling us when we are starting to become satisfied, and when to stop. When we actively taste, we assess smell, flavor, texture, quality, freshness—to determine if the food is worthy of us. If we habitually tune out, we never feel “done.”

We are all designed to receive the message of “satisfied,” but only if we “think” like a thin person and truly taste the food going in. That’s it. That is the difference between me and my super-skinny cousin who can eat anything she wants and never gets fat. She doesn’t feel guilty about food and therefore, she tunes in and tastes every bite of crab cheese ball with crackers. When her mind starts to respond with messages of satisfaction, she stops eating because she feels satisfied. Upon examination of my binge, I realize I already enjoyed my chocolate chip cookie for the day and did not really need the gingerbread men. My daily treat quota was fulfilled. But I wanted to celebrate Christmas by eating my holiday handiwork. So, as if I could trick my own body, I tuned out while munching the poor little dears. Because my brain participated in none of the experience, it reliably gave me no cues to stop. One-by-one, I continued to eat (while escaping to the fatty planet), and the carnage expanded to include the full clan.

The funny thing is, without tuning in we deny ourselves the full experience of the food. Whether it is salad or ice cream, without truly tasting, we lose out on the opportunity to be fed on a level our minds and souls can relate to. The very people who live to eat (and struggle with weight) are the same ones failing to experience full contact with their food. How ironic. Can anyone else relate here?

By way of compensation, the next day included cut up vegetables with a squeeze of lemon juice and drizzle of olive oil. I savored the bright red strip of sweet bell pepper and tasted all the crunchy lettuce and cucumber slices on my plate. I even dug into the sour cream dip with a celery stick. It was rich and creamy, but I did not need much. How did I know? Because I tasted with intention, which resulted in feeling full on less veg than I initially intended to eat. From this experience I am again reminded how it feels to escape. I prefer to stay present and taste. So, that’s good. And gingerbread men everywhere have breathed a collective sigh of relief.

By Tres Prier Hatch

Author of: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Heatlhy, Thin, & Sexy

11/2/10 Blog

Time

by Tres Prier Hatch

11/2/10

Time

By Tres Prier Hatch

The boy stood poised to cross the street, straddling his scooter between his knees. Cheeks pink on perfect skin. His face bore the fresh push of childhood quickly advancing into adolescence. As my van engine idled I noticed his elongated limbs and neck were not quite solid yet, as if recently sprung from a soft chrysalis. At that instant I realized he had not seasons in this state, but maybe a day; a dot on the calendar of his life—perhaps seconds. It was fleeting, this “tween” state of boy and young man. Literally, he would change and become something different than the youth his parents knew.

How precious is time? The connection was clear to me at that instant. Like the boy, I am subtly changing; every hour of every day. My life is advancing as an unstoppable mill. TIME is the gift and TIME is fleeting. How dear is my opportunity to live life at the frequency most satisfying? Is there even one day to waste in the tar pit of dissatisfaction? My intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and yes, physical development happens well (or not as well) based on how I use the moments of today. The battle with my weight was a decades-long, exhausting fight. It drew away precious energy otherwise used in the pursuit of an enriched life. To jettison the shackles of that one-sided war was paramount to moving on and finding myself, the person I was born and designed to be—the ideal version me, in all categories. Am I ideal? Not really. But do I still contend with myself by eating compulsively and grappling with a fun-house mirror illusion of “health management?” Not anymore.

This empowering concept is the reason I share and lecture and write about weight loss, or more accurately, weight management: Change our thinking and we change our behaviors. To change our behaviors by changing our thought patterns is the most powerful use of agency any of us can wield. The mind and body are connected. The soul and body are inherently tied together. Strip away the fat suit and we reveal our true profiles; we disclose who we are.

I don’t have years to spare feeling self-conscious, and self-loathing. In fact, the less “self” I dwell on, the more joy I have. So, to get over myself already, and become an excellent steward of my body I begin by becoming “teachable.” I call it “Get the Click,” which happens to be the title of the first chapter in my book: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy (www.miraclepilltruths.com). Paradigms change when we are teachable because humility and openness of heart sows fertile ground for recognizing truth and wisdom.

We are all designed perfectly with everything we need inside us to manage our bodies well. Nothing is missing. Nothing is broken. All the messages we need to be in perfect harmony with our bodies (and therefore generate a fast metabolism) are built right in to our little noggins. Let us honor our incredible machines by giving our bodies what they need when the need it, in the proportion they need. Keep listening to re-activate prompts that may have been de-activated. Let us be teachable, let us hear our bodies “talk” to us and tell us what they need. Listen. We only have today, with no promise of tomorrow. Sorry to burst the bubble of a safely monotonous existence, but it is true. Discover today’s purpose, the essence of the phrase: carpe diem. Seize today because it is oh, so short and we can enjoy it more when we live in harmony with ourselves.

Tres Hatch is the author of: Miracle Pill 10 Truths to Healthy, Thin, & Sexy.

www.miraclepilltruths.com

Tomorrow I will appear on KUTV2 News at 6:50 A.M. and 7:20 A.M. to discuss my book and demonstrate a recipe. I will need to talk and cook at the same time? Are you kidding? This should be interesting. Gonna try real hard not to look like a dork. The good news is I am preparing the Zucchini-Walnut Brownie recipe with a melted chocolate ganache. When all else fails, employ the powers of chocolate. Even without "smellavision" the hypnotic effects of shiny, molten chocolate should lull the senses enough to cope with the fact that I will be trying very hard to make sense.

So, up at 4:00, leave the house by 5:00, there at 6:00, and home again by 8:00. By some great stroke of good fortune, I also have a lecture that morning with a weight loss group. This is good because my hair and makeup will already be done, which, as all women know, is the hard part.

Since the launch of this book I have gradually grasped how differently each person resonates with the "truths." Feedback from readers, I have learned, is an unexpected, and terribly satisfying gift. One person spoke to me of the power of "just worrying about today." He no longer belabors the excesses of yesterday and he doesn't feel overwhelmed with thoughts of endless exercise tomorrow. Instead, he just treats himself kindly today. Another friend shared how gratitude now permeates her self-image and she has subsequently lost 5 pounds from feeling positive about her body. Another reader felt strongly that the idea of creating long-lasting habits that can be continued until he is 80 years old, was key to his successful weight loss.

As I do book signings and meet with groups to talk about the book, I look forward to hearing about each person's journey. It is rewarding to feel like my sharing has been a benefit to others.